Talk about an ad that gets your attention! I was looking through the November, 1900 issue of the Delineator magazine, reading back to front as I tend to do, when I noticed this headline on the side of one of the last pages full of ads:

Like Opium Eaters

Of course I had to read the rest of it immediately, and it continued: COFFEE DRINKERS BECOME SLAVES.

It turned out to be an ad for Postum Coffee Food, but the writing in this one is so good and so dramatic that it is definitely worth reading. Here is the ad in full, and under that I will transcribe it since the copy might be a little difficult to read.

“The experience, suffering, and slavery of some coffee drinkers would be almost as interesting as the famous ‘Confessions of an Opium Eater,” says a Boston man, W.J. Tuson, 131 W. Newton St. “For twenty years I used coffee at the breakfast table and, incidentally, through the day, I craved it as a whiskey drinker longs for his morning bracer. I knew perfectly well that it was slowly killing me, but I could not relinquish it.

“The effect on the nervous system was finally alarming and my general health greatly impaired. I had dyspepsia, serious heart difficulty, and insomnia. When I would lie down, I would almost suffocate. My doctor assured me it was due to the action of caffeine (which is the active principle of coffee) on the heart.

“I persisted in its use, however, and suffered along just as drunkards do. One day when I was feeling unusually depressed, a friend whom I met, looked me over and said: ‘Now, look here, old man, I believe I know exactly what’s the matter with you. You are a coffee fiend and it’s killing you. I want to tell you my experience. I drank coffee and it ruined my nerves, affected my heart, and made me a sallow, bilious old man; but through a friend who had been similarly afflicted, I found a blessed relief and want to tell you about it. Try Postum Food Coffee, a grateful, delicious beverage, full of nourishment, that will satisfy your taste for coffee and feed your nervous system back into health, rather than tear it down as coffee has been doing.’

“I took my friend’s advice, and within a week from that time, my digestion seemed perfect, I slept a sweet, refreshing sleep all night, and my heart quit its quivering and jumping. I have been steadily gaining in health and vitality right along.”